The Kind of Love My Shepherd Is

This is a great song. :) Jash is sooo cute haha

Until Midnight

So this is Jash!! My Misfit Prince singing a song he wrote me :)

My Sweetheart

No Longer A Traveler

Ok so Summer has ended and I am currently sitting in class. Yes time has passed and I have not been posting as much as I use to or wanted. Well I do have lots of things I was to write about. I have TONS of post that I have started but haven't finished. So... look forward to a bunch of post. I want to start posting some of my journal writings from my Devotional journal. I've had some really awesome bible studies and I would like to share them. :) Well like I said, school is back in session. I am in my second week of classes. FINALLY I have unpacked all of my belongings and found a semi-permanent place for them. I have been getting back into or starting a routine. I'm on academic probation cause I failed 3 classes... yeah ...I know... Well, I've actually been reading and paying attention in class keeping notes. (yes I did just say I am in class writing this..... don't judge me) haha
So, this semester I am taking some interesting classes. Doctrine of Creation, Old Testament Theology, Personal Evangelism, Cross Cultural Ministry, and some Teaching and Learning psychology class... a total of 12 hours. Recently I have been trying to grow deeper in my spiritual life. Asking "Why am I Baptist?" "Why do I believe this and that?" "Do I just believe everything the church tells me?" "Where do I stand on this topic?" These questions have lead to some deep theology. I may be just learning but I will say that I am a Calvinist and I hold to all 5 points. I am not looking for a fight or debate, or for anyone to tell me I am wrong. I find it sooo funny... when someone who hasn't researched or just doesn't agree with anything I do, they don't ask questions... they say this "So YOU believe ....." well... do you know the 5 points? Did I say I believe them...then yes. haha I don't want to argue. Also from Calvinism I have been learning about Reformed Theology. WOW!!! This is some heavy stuff!!! Its very deep. Its like Calvinism with a backbone. Its going past just 5 points. Its going to the beginning and seeing where we have come as Baptist. Well... Jash is helping me to learn and he is guiding me and being very patient with me. haha Well... these classes I'm taking are either gonna help me by disagreeing with me and pushing me to search harder and stay firm or they are gonna help me and show me if I'm wrong. (but I'm not) haha
ok class has ended. :) Until next time

My Song For The Summer

Ok so this song God is Able, WOW!!! I just... I feel like this explains my heart. Everything we have been through this summer, the good, the Great, the hard, the messy, the fun and the ugly, God has been with us. This summer I alone did nothing, BUT God... But God decided to use me. He grew me closer to him and brought me down to South Florida to teach about His son Jesus Christ. Sometime I think about how this summer was very different from last year. Last year I worked in Ft. Lauderdale and I was in Haitian and Hispanic and all types of cultural churches. This year I was in Naples and Ft. Myers  and occasionally Miami, working in all white churches and this last one was a Korean church. I mostly worked in white churches and sometimes I didn't feel like i was doing a whole lot. I learned soo much. What type of situations I work better in and what pushes me. The lessons we taught were really awesome and I personally learned a lot. Well... on our last week we were working in a Korean church. It was really cool. It was small and not a lot of kids came. We had a ton of youth. Well, on youth night which was Thursday, we had a chance to share our testimonies with them. There were about 20 youth that night and it was just awesome. During worship they played this song. And I was just hit by how amazing God is and how he works. Even when I feel like I'm not getting anything done or falling apart... God is able.  In the lyrics below I love how it says "He will make a way Far above all we know Far above all we hope He has done great things" Gosh!!! The words to this song are so beautiful and hit me hard. I am very much in love with my God. The God of Mosses, of Abraham, of Jacob, The God who created all. :)

[Verse 1]
God is able
He will never fail
He is almighty God
Greater than all we seek
Greater than all we ask
He has done great things

[Chorus]
Lifted up
He defeated the grave
Raised to life
Our God is able
In His name
We overcome
For the Lord
Our God is able

[Verse 2]
God is with us
God is on our side
He will make a way
Far above all we know
Far above all we hope
He has done great things

[Chorus]
Lifted up
He defeated the grave
Raised to life
Our God is able
In His name
We overcome
For the Lord
Our God is able

[Bridge]
God is with us
He will go before
He will never leave us
He will never leave us
God is for us
He has open arms
He will never fail us
He will never fail us

[Chorus (x2)]
Lifted up
He defeated the grave
Raised to life
Our God is able
In His name
We overcome
For the Lord
Our God is able

For the Lord
Our God is able
For the Lord
Our God is able

A Personal Revelation

So, I have come to a revelation about myself. I'm really.... not at all a great friend. I am very selfish with my time, thoughts, actions, in my speech, and just all around. I can't go a whole conversation without adding some random fact about me, or relating myself to someone else's comment or thought or anything they are sharing. I am such a ME ME ME person!!! How does that work in a relationship? Well... not very well. How much do we want to share our lives with another person? How badly do we want someone to know us, to care, to listen and to appreciate who we are, who we were and who we are growing to be? I think the answer is obvious. Here is where things fall... I just drop the ball in this area. I am a Horrible listener. I don't pay attention at all! Its not like I am not interested. Far from it. I guess...when i'm in a mindset of doing something or thinking or just...not wanting to think that is always when someone is most comfortable with me and wants to share. However I just... I'm spaced. I'm not really there. I don't know why.... like something in my brain doesn't work. Its turned off. I feel like I am always being talked to or taught. And there are days I just am mentally turned off. Its not good though. Because the most important person in my life is always with me. We do everything together and when he is open and we are out maybe at the mall or just chillin in the student center he decides to share something with me. Sometimes... if we aren't talking I'm mentally in my own world or listening to music or talking to someone in some form (facebook, text, in person, video chat) But when he finally wants to talk I'm mentally unavailable. What I try to do is finish what I am doing so that he can have full focus. But I have already hurt him and offended him and he closes back up and doesn't feel like sharing. JERK!!! Gosh, I'm a jerk! I think in my head that finishing what I am doing and then giving him my focus is the best thing...but I'm coming to realize its not. He needs that at the moment, not later. I've come to realize that. So... in order to show him that I honestly want to know what he is going to share I need to stop immediately. Sometimes I do hear. I do listen. I understand and I know what he was saying. It just takes me sometime to process. I feel like...a machine...or just slow. Can I can't always give an answer right away...I need to process and think. But...there is never time for that... I guess also its different points of view. Thats something I'm learning in class. We all were raised different, different families, cultures, rules, we each went through different life experiences... and they all affect our way of processing and thinking. I've been selfish in my thinking... I'm gonna work on things. 

• Learn to Listen
• Learn to Pay Attention
• Don't be spacey
• Give All Focus
• Don't be Distracted
• Be Concerned
• Considerate
• DON'T TALK ABOUT ME!!!!!
• HUSH! 
• Just be Quiet!

Samantha

So over the summer we worked at this church. It shall remain nameless because I personally didn't have the best experience there. I had a hard time remembering my Purpose. We would pull up and I would ask "Why am I here?!?" I just had a over all rough time. I wasn't teaching or anything. They had me vacuum and clean and just sit there. I didn't really have any kids. one day I had like 5...but all I was suppose to do was walk them from one room to another which we also had like 4 other adults helping. I was just in the way almost everywhere I was. Pastor and I didn't agree on some view points and I just felt like I was the target for everything. I pretty much was over this by the end of the week. Then something changed. There was this girl Samantha in Bethany's class. Because we had so few kids the combined us with things. Well Samantha is very autistic and has anger problems  her mom stayed with her like everyday. Until Thursday, when she had no choice but to leave and head to work. Well Bethany sat with her and colored and she would interact with Bethany. She never talked. She yelled more like screamed when we had offering and she was cheering for the girls. Well Friday came and there was a huge storm and not a lot of kids came. We had maybe 6 in our two classes combined. When we went to craft time all the kids but Samantha sat on one end. There we did craft and I felt bad that she was sitting all by herself. So i got up and went down to her. I started asking questions and just talking to her. Kind of like a kid would talk. Asking if she liked ice-cream and I did. Said I like mint chocolate chip and sometimes I like really chocolaty stuff. I brought the one sided conversation to our beach theme. She nodded yes when I asked if i could sit next to her. So I made up this game. i knew she wouldn't answer with yes or no or anything verbal. I said we should use our thumbs. Every time we liked something or wanted to bring it on our picnic to the beach we would do thumbs up. Well after 6 or 7 questions she began to put her thumbs up!!!! She was smiling and laughing!! Then all the other kids came down and sat around her. She closed up but after they started asking her and talking to her and included her and just everyone was equal and the same and just kids having fun... she was ALL IN TO IT!!!! After our meetings with our couch and talking about everything that week... I can answer the question "Why am I here?" It was for Samantha. :)

Verizon Guys

Ok so over the summer one day my phone kind of sort of ....died. It decided to make me a creeper. I could call, and hear people talk...but no one could hear me talk. Haha. Well Bethany and I went to the mall in Naples and we just got paid and so...I didn't really have any option...sooo we headed to Verizon. There we met two guys. I talked to them about my phone and what they had in the price area I was able to purchase. While going through the process of picking a new phone, paying, turning it on, transferring my number, and then things froze for awhile. During this entire process, we began to talk to the two guys about our summer. they had lots of questions about why would we give our summer, let alone our lives to please God, and to go out and share. One of the guys was really into talking. He asked about school and I shared that I go to a Baptist college and I major in Missions. That led to a really cool conversation about what I plan on doing with that. I told him that my boyfriend and I are planning to move to Organ after we are married and he is called t full time pastoral ministry. I talked about wanting to work with women and helping them serve and grow, about organizing missions over seas and here in the states. He asked me about why there, and the differences between Organ and down here in the south. It was a really awesome experience. As we were coming to the point of asking him what his religious views were this old lady came up and needed help. We stayed a while to talk but they both became very busy so we said bye and left. Even though we didn't share the gospel it was a great time of sharing. The way he acted and responded to things I felt that he may be a believer... Pray for the Verizon guys :)