Apr 6, 2012
Our Friend Abi took these pictures of Jash and I. I just LOVE them!!!
There are more to come!! I can't wait to post the rest when she sends them to me :) Hope you enjoyed.
The Umbrella Jump :)
Love At A Distance <3
Reading John Calvin <3
(This is my favorite!)
The Hipster Pose
Simply In Love
He <3's Me
Writing Secret Messages
There are more to come!! I can't wait to post the rest when she sends them to me :) Hope you enjoyed.
Mar 3, 2012
Yes I have begun the great adventure of Pintrest! I have found so many great things to cook, and created and way of doing hair and make up . If you've seen/heard or are apart of Pintrest you understand. So I have to say, i'm actually trying to create and cook up some of these things i'm "pinning" One of my new goals is to follow through. That has become my new goal I guess. I have found myself struggling with feeling so unfulfilled... I've been at a great church but when it comes to serving, I feel limited and when I am teaching its either to children or youth (Which I do so love) but in a way that I feel I can be real. Children are not the problem but there is only so much I can take and I'm pretty sure children's ministry is NOT my calling. I love youth but going to a Southern Baptist Church and holding to Reformed, Presbyterian views its hard to teach let alone learn. So when I was a Sunday school teacher I struggled. The lesssons where basic and I found myself struggling in them along with my own spiritual life. So I stepped down and what is really exciting is one of the married women in the church has begun teaching. The reason I'm there is because that is where God called me to be, there was a great need of stability, leadership and a brokness. A youth group who just needed some younger leader ship. So some of us college kids where there and things were great. But when our youth pastor left one of the guys stepped up and now he IS our youth pastor. Sunday school was...elementary at the time and now its become wonderful. Everything I am saying is very positive, but when the need of help left...so did my desire to be there. Now we stay (Jash and I) because we don't want to be "those college kids" who come, connect and when they aren't needed leave. We are both members of the church and our letters are there. (so we are actual members not just visiting) We have on a few ocassions been to First Presbyterian in Dothan (AL) which was AMAZING!!! But we aren't going to just stop at our church and leave hurting people who we love and in all God hasn't called us away from there. Ok so it sounds like i'm going on a long rant right?... I have a point I promise. You see Everyone jokes about Pintrest and how its a place to "plan weddings when we don't have a boyfriend, dress kids we don't have, decorate houses we can afford and vacation at places from our dreams" Everyone "pins" great food ideas and hair things and what-not. Well i've come to see how in my life I say I want to do this and I want to start that, and Wow wouldn't it be great if this happened. Always talking and never following through. Well that is where i'm changing. I want to "Follow Through" with things. I'm going to be posting pictures of food items I've "Followed Through" with, hair things, and whatever else. I already have a tons of pictures and can't wait to post. But my most exciting is that I've been wanting to start a Girls Bible study on the book of Ruth. I've been talking, planning and even purchased the teaching material ( about 2 months ago) well... Today we had our first lesson and I taught!!! I'm so excited. I'll post more tomorrow about it and explain what I'm learning. For now its mid-night, i'm running on 4 hours of sleep and my family is coming to visit tomorrow!!!! I'm in need of sleep! So until our next encounter
Mar 1, 2012
I forgot to take a picture of Day 1 but here is Day 2.
Day 3 or 4... I was having a gross day.
Ok so like I said this was a gross day. Something I learned from this week is that I have become dependent on using make up to make myself feel good. While thats not a big problem I came to realize that not only is it something that makes me feel good but its a security thing. Days that I don't feel pretty, that my hair isn't working, when I just feel gross I turn to make up to change myself and make me better. Even on a day like this Jash took a picture with me. While I just hate this picture I thought I should still post it. Every day Jash would tell me that I was beautiful and that he loved my make up. In my last blog entry I wrote about our daily almost rehearsed conversation. The thing is, he wasn't just saying it. He gets this look, of complete amazement and aww when he looks at me. I know in that moment, he means it.
I stated to read articles about not wearing make up. I love Pintrest and I have been looking up stuff about make up. I never had the older sister who sat me down and taught me about make up. My aunt did once but i don't remember any of that. I didn't really have girlfriends who taught me and so in middle and high school IF I wore make up I'm sure it was WAY too much eyeliner, foundation that was too dark, foundation that didn't continue to my neck... you know what I mean. haha As I read blogs and articles I learned about taking care of my skin, and make up. Throwing away nasty stuff and remembering to wash my face and putting on lotion. I found confidence in who God created. ME! :)
Last Day! Day 7
Its been a whole week! I wore NO make up to class, Church, out in public and even out to eat with friends. There were days I stood with the drawer open and just wanted to put make up on. Cover up all those imperfections. Cover my red cheeks, pimples, scars, anything and everything. Make everything look smooth and the same. But I couldn't. Lent is about sacrifice. Giving up something as in food, drink or personal pleasure. Now that isn't the whole thing, its preparing one'self the 40 days before the death of Christ. Giving up something that is valuable or important to you so that you may grow closer to Christ and instead of finding our value and worth and importance in these things we cling to we strive o find these things in Christ our Lord. For the entire 40 days I've given up Facebook (i'll write more about that later) each week i'm giving something additional up. Giving up make up sounded kind of dumb but for me I learned a lot. Physically I was finding my beauty in this face paint making a mask of who I am. God created me in a specific way, and with all the make up I wore and with the days I didn't have time to put some on I'd go back home just to put some on. I'd freak out and just feel so incomplete. Since i haven't been wearing any I've been trying really hard to get back in to my daily reading of the Word. When I miss a day of reading I find myself with those same feelings. I was Uneasy, frustrated, incomplete and over all I realized I needed to go back and take time to read. While giving up make up to some is simple and stupid for me it was eye opening.
I attempted a headband curling idea from pintrest and I took a picture. With out makeup :) I felt confident and beautiful. I did put some make up on but only a little.
Me with my Boo <3
** haha so I just realized... I wore the same shirt twice in one week! I had my jacket on one day cause it was so cold but that is still funny!
So for lent this year Jash and I were talking about what we were going to give up. He have up red meat for the 40 days. I have given up Facebook. I know that sounds dumb but I have come to love Facebook to the point that it is an idol. I have come to put it before my quiet time , prayer life, and even time with Jash. Today marks the second week. I'm a little behind on this post but in addition to my 40 days of no facebook each week i'm giving something else up. Last week I gave up make up. I love make up and how I feel, and look. As a woman, wearing no make up out in public when your use to it is very hard. Some days I didn't like how I looked. But I learned a lot. Each day Jash told me he loved my make up and i would respond with "i'm not wearing any" and he said "I know. That my favorite" There are times when I just thought ok well he is just saying that. But this week I really felt it. Days I just looked ....ugh he told me i was beautiful. Starting today I'm giving up chocolate. I'm entering my...time of the month or as Jash calls it Pandora. I love chocolate and its no Lie. So this week no chocolate. Week 3 I think I'm giving up Pintrest along with Facebook. I'm not sure home much longer after that is left but yeah. :) After lunch I'll post pictures of this past week. I made myself take pictures almost each day. So, you'll see me too. haha
Feb 23, 2012
Wow!! Its been a few months since I've written. Life has just been crazy. There is so much tel tell and I will get to all of it. My last few posts were a little scattered and spaced apart. Things are getting better in life and i'm working on getting back to a better place. I lost my way a little. I apologize for my rants and silliness. I was having a hard time in life. I was hitting a jealous point and became so focused on getting married and on myself and I even began to stop in my daily devotions and walks with God. Jash and I have been through a lot in the past couple of months. We are still together and stronger than ever. There are a few new things in life and upcoming events. ( no we aren't engaged) haha I have a lot t bring up to date. I'm gonna give your a run down of past events. Jash never got the Waffle house job, nothing ever happened and things just dwindled down. As of the 21st of this month we've been together for 17 months!! Next month will be a year and a half! I'm so excited. Each day we grow closer. Last time I posted we had just returned from a wedding and had an amazing talk. We talked about marriage. We've talked before but this was the first time we really just talked. He told me about how he was planning on proposing and he couldn't wait to be at our wedding. We began to discuss what requirements we needed before we could be. We talked about him having a good job to support us, a good working car and money in the bank and having a place to live. We've talked about having these things checked off before being engaged. Neither of us want to start our marriage off struggling and worrying and relying on others. So we have been praying and God has been providing and guiding us. For about a year we have been praying about Jash joining the military. We were really set on Air Force for a while. God shut that door and we were feeling that the Army might be what we should have been looking at. He went into talk to a recruiter on a Monday and ended us taking a pre-test and scoring a 65. They had him back in the following Tuesday and two weeks later he swore into the United States Army! Yup!! It went quick. We asked God that if the Air Fore to make it happen or to shut the door, but if Army was God's plan to make it happen quickly. Haha guess we found the answer. :) We both felt overwhelming peace and reassurance and didn't once second guess anything. Jash swore in, in January and now its the end of February. He is finishing out this semester and he ships off to Basic Training June 6th. I've decided to spend the summer teaching VBS for one last summer. That way while he is away I'm kepts busy too. He graduates in August and then goes to AIT school. He went in Enlisted so once he graduates in November he will be given his orders and heads to Post. While this all sounds fast, quick and scary we feel this is what God has planned. I'm a bit scared yes. Its a lot to take in. Sometimes... it doesn't feel real. The reason I say that is because for Jash, he has experienced it all. He went to the recruiter, tested, went to Meps, went to Montgomery to swear in, and just in all he has seen it happen. For me... it feels like a dream. Nothing in life has changed. I haven't seen anything. He took pictures of a document for me but... I haven't even met the recruiter, I guess... I personally haven't even seen another soldier and it doesn't seem real. Its a bit hard. I'm really excited and I know this is what God has planned, but its hard. I have this date on my board... June 6th. Thats his date that means it all begins. For me... when we leave school at the end of this semester, thats when I have to say goodbye until I see him at his graduation. I'm scared of the shock. Because I haven't seen anything now when I see him in August he will have his uniform on and his head shaved and he will be different, drastically. I think he is more prepared for it than I am. School ends in May and I'm not sure how its gonna work but most likely when his parents come to pick him up that will be the last time i see him. I won't get the goodbye I'm going to need. It will be hard...i don't know what I'm going to need. Its just..difficult to prepare for it all. I've never had a long distance relationship before. Over the summer we were apart but could talk and we saw each other here and there and had skype. But...this summer its gonna be extremely limited. When school starts back up i'll be coming back to a place we met, and fell in love...alone. Its just scary. Plus when he goes to AIT school he will be in Virginia... I'll be in Florida..... I'm scared of being forgotten and forgetting. For feelings so lonely I retreat to my room and drifting apart. I'm scared of becoming a stranger to him and vice versa. We have talked about getting married and while we aren't engaged we are unofficially. We have set a date. February 16 2013. I'm excited and while we are together this semester we have talked and done lots of planning. I really need this cause when time comes, i'll be planning alone. Having his input now and having memories of sitting and talking, arguing, and discussing details help me. I want the same experience every girls dreams of. And so While we are together I want to do these things. We've talked about being able to even apart...but its different. I don't know what he is going to be like then and who i'm going to be... the fear of being strangers to each other is a great fear. After May, the next time i see him on a regular basis will be our wedding day and then after our married life. I'm scared of marrying a stranger. We've talked about planning visits back and forth and being able to talk on the phone in AIT school...but... its still hard. After school he will move to wherever his orders are. I know its dumb to worry now, but I have thoughts. I worry. I am just simply trying to guard my heart from hurt and fear. I'm trying hard not to feel like I'm being left, or left behind. I know that because he joined the Army we will be able to get engaged and married but it doesn't make the following months any easier. To top it all off I've strayed from my quiet time and daily walks with Christ. So, i've been spiritually weak. I"m trying hard now to get back to a place of joy and peace and full reliance on Christ. This post was a little long and I have more to say, but i"m going to save that for the next post. :) If anyone is actually reading this I would appreciate your prayers and encouragement. Off to study and what not.