May 20, 2011
So i've been having some pain.. My back right wisdom tooth has been growing in and at the same time...its infected. Well.. Tuesday I went to the oral surgeon and he said I needed to have all 4 taken out. Plus I have the mouth of a child and my teeth are too crowded..so one was pushed on the roof of my mouth. Well..he took that one too. Thursday I had surgery. I had 5 teeth taken out. It was really rough. At first, my blood pressure was really high cause I was freaking. They couldn't find my vein and I was scared it would hurt. Then the talk of needles...yeah SPIKED my stress. After 45 mins they got things going. I had drugs going in me. I was getting sleepy but my doctor kept talking and then opened me up and starting shooting me up in my mouth with needles and drugs. I could feel it all and that woke me up. So during the surgery that I was suppose to be asleep for I was WIDE awake and could hear and feel everything. He said to tap my right hand if I felt pain. Well.. there wasn't a moment I didn't stop tapping. He took 3 teeth out on my left side and it was really rough. When he got to my right... OH MY GOSH!!!! The bottom tooth was crazy. I cried soo hard. I just wanted it to all stop and I wanted my boyfriend. I even remember calling his name but I don't think they understood. Of course he is back home in Alabama and i'm in Florida so...he couldn't come anyways. But oh man... I was crying and was close to just loosing it. Infact as soon as they got the heck out of my mouth I lost it. I just wanted to go home. The pain got worse. The surgeon asked if I felt pain and I was like YES!!! My right side was increasing in pain. Honestly...I was PISSED!!! I wanted to punch someone I was hurting sooo freaking bad. WEll.. I had ice packs and drugs. I was expecting my dad to be with me all day..but..well.. not really. Its been rough. I was told my dad or mom would be with me all the time. Which would be nice. I never see them and I haven't had my parents take care of me in forever... Well.. whatever. Dad got me an Ice pack and made these milkshakes... they didn't taste all that great. I think it was royal fudge ice cream with strawberries.. I don't like to mix fruit with ice cream like that.. but i drank it. Then Dusty (friend of the family) came over. He just had 5 teeth taken out too. He and dad were talking about some video game. Well.. dad left to go play... honestly.. i was upset. I wished my dad wanted to spend time with me. He never does. We use to watch movies together and hang and play video games..now.. he can't stand to be around me. Well...today was no different. He was asleep all day. I woke up...made made myself something to eat..took my drugs. laid on the couch and watched Greek. Then I wanted some entertainment...so I began to decorate something for my boyfriend and scrapbook. I did like 13 pages!! Dad woke up... said he was hungry.. I said I made myself ramen. Then he went over to Dusty's to hang. I wish he wanted to spend time with me. I'm only home for a few...but he never wants..me. Oh well. So..yesterday mom rented movies...we went to watch it but Aunt Debra came over and she did stuff with her. Then at like 10 started our movie. But she went to bed before it was over. Jash was also really busy yesterday. He made it home and was dragged around to do this and that. I know he was tired cause he worked and then packed and then had to travel home. I know he was crazed...I guess...I just... felt so ..alone. Yesterday SUCKED!!! I just felt..unwanted and ditched. Today...the same. I'm just over it. If Jash was here..he'd ask what he could do. He'd sit with me and watch movies and tv. I know its dumb but I just feel like no one really cares. I hate coming home! Cause when I do..i'm not wanted. I'm ready to be with Jash. The only one who ever just wants to be with me and take care of me. Its ok...I don't need anyone to. I can take care of myself. Ok..well...thats my vent for now. I'm in lots of pain so i'm gonna lay in bed and watch Greek.