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Dec 17, 2010

The Angel

Oh how last night was a night to remember. It was up and down and up again. It flipped my heart in so many ways. Tears of sadness, tears or hurt, tears of joy, tears of love, tears of laughter. Sitting and talking on the couch I let my heart pour out. Sitting and listening in the heart ....beat slowly. Listening and trying to understand. Being faced with moments of uncertainty. Knowing what I feel, and how I feel and knowing the peace that I have been given...but hearing so much doubt... so hard to just sit and listen. Hearing once again of an Angel. A beautiful angel so far away. One with eyes that seem to see right through you. A smile that captivates your attention from miles away. There is A connection, a line, a rope that should never be broken. For she, An angel who laughs and jokes and brings your joy. An angle of literature, of wit, and poetry. An Angel who saved you. This Angel of everything Amazing. With ears that hear your secrets, your dreams, and hurt. These ears hold onto stories of your past and present and future. All these things i describe are not just things she has such as her eyes, her smile, her ears, and the unspoken...her heart. see... these are all the things about you as well. Your reaction to her. You, a person who will not plan for the future plan for you to always have your Angel. I however... you would like to have. Its not for certain though. Which slightly hurts. But I understand that with such little time how could you. Maybe one day.... Maybe one day i'll be like an Angel. Maybe you'll speak of me like your Angel. Maybe you'll care as much for me as for your Angel. I may never be an Angel to you, but as long as you still call me yours... and your still happy... that is all i can ask.

Honestly, I hope to meet your Angel one day. To know this amazing form of perfection in which you describe. My fear, is falling in love with your Angel as well. I fear sometimes what your Angel may think of me. This girl of many faults. You were scared to touch this Angel and messing up such perfection...but with me.... I just fear this Angel you love so much... Will be the Angel of your everything. To know your Angel..scares me. What if i love your Angel too, but you Angel doesn't feel the same. The thoughts and worries that capture my sleepless nights... I try not to dwell on them and for many nights I do not.... Except when night such as these, when you speak of your Angel, more highly than I have heard you speak of anyone... I would never dream of messing up anything with you and your Angel. The strings that tie you together and stronger than anything. It would break my heart if ever you thought i would ask that. To know the pain it would cause you and to know it was because of me... would be worse than losing you all over again. For I do love you. And I pray for you. I pray for your Angel too.

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